Friday, January 15, 2010

Vanity Sizing

A lady and man meet. They have an instant connection. Maybe the fall in love at first site, maybe they are friends for months before they realize they want more. Either way, my question is….you like someone but then on that fateful night when you start to remove your clothes, you do not like what you see underneath – what do you do? All those fairytales don’t say what happens when the princess finds out prince charming is not well equipped, or that he is horrible in bed. Do they stay together or do they call it quits?

I keep finding I am shallower than I thought I was. And you know what…YES penis size does matter for me. If I can’t tell if a guy is hard or not because his pecker is so small, I am not turned on, I am repulsed. And it is even worse, when you see that tiny thing for the first time and he is like “not bad huh?” and you look at it and think….that is the smallest thing I’ve ever seen, but you nod your head and say ‘yup’. Another thought is the issue of, having a small penis and knowing how to use it versus a larger one that doesn’t quite satisfy you. I guess the answer is obvious, but would you even feel it? I don’t see how either of those would work.

So this brings me to my dilemma. I had been trying to not get naked with a guy right away, but to wait a month or so, to make sure we have enough in common or whatever it is…basically to reassure myself I am not a whore. But then over this time period, you develop feelings for someone…as small as they might be, now what do I do? Do I just suck it up and try to figure it out? Do I cringe every time I see it? Or do I move on to the next prospect?

Thursday, January 7, 2010

A modern Jekyll and Hyde?

As the dating continues – it mystifies me that men can me so much more indecisive than a woman. Previously it was picking a place for a date, but now it’s escalated. Hypothetically, let’s say I’ve been on three dates with a man – and the third date we are warming up to each other fairly nicely. Conversation still flows well, smiling & laughing still happening (which may be attributed to all the wine) and you sit there and think – ok, this isn’t that bad, it is actually enjoyable can I see myself spending more time with this guy ~ and my answer is ‘probably yes’. He mentions again, that he was hoping he would have been able to pick me up, as a gentleman does by now. I graciously thank him for being so gentleman-like and tell him it was very much appreciated but at this time, I was not comfortable with that as it was the third date and to men that equals sex. Now, surprised by that answer, my date said “seriously? Hmm, that’s good to know” and then came up to me, and whispered into my ear “you’re a girl I could fall in love with” and then hurried off to relieve himself in the bathroom. The rest of the evening was filled with complements galore including him feeling “smitten” and telling me that I am beautiful. Things were going so well, we finished up dinner and went to a bar to chat a bit more even though it was many hours after my bedtime. In the new setting it went the same way, same wonderful complements and more kissing than I am comfortable with in a public place ~ but at least the bar was kinda dead. He told me he would like to start seeing me more often and asked me to his house to make me dinner in just two days. Sounds wonderful right? Like things are really progressing and that this has potential.

That night of our dinner at his place, he cancelled. I didn’t mind, as I was nervous to be in private with a new man (and I had a back up virtual body guard on standby assuring I’d live another day). A few days after that I get a text saying lets get together – but I was not free. Something seemed weird, so I respond, I cant that night, but what about this night…if you are still interested. And he responds, “I kinda am. I don’t think we make a good couple. What do you think?”

WOAH, are you thinking the same thing as me? Where did THAT come from? Just a few days before he couldn’t stop complementing me and touching and kissing me…and now, nothing? Is it solely because he didn’t get laid that night? Sure, I am not sure if he is my future husband, but isn’t that what dating is all about? There are things I am not sure about, and other things that I think to myself – ok, well I am not crazy about this…but that isn’t the worst thing…I don’t think it is a deal breaker.

So, I message him back basically saying, I don’t know what I think yet, but I have had more fun than I thought I would on our last dates, and I was hoping for another so I can evaluate our compatibility in a more casual environment. But our next date will be a little awkward to say the least. Will I call him out on the sudden change of everything? Probably – I have nothing to loose. And if it is all about sex…well then, he isn’t for me. I don’t want a suave guy or a liar…I’ve had enough of those. And I am at no great loss, I am out of his league anyway.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

To kiss or not to kiss - that is THE question

I recently went out with a man for the first time. The date was actually surprisingly good; perhaps the bottle of wine had something to do with that. The conversation flowed and drinks turned into dinner. During dinner I was asked how I thought the date was going, which through me off guard, I was not surprised he was into me, as it was quite obvious, but I still was not sure. My date was a gentleman and walked me to my car (or if I am particularly pessimistic on a day – I could say that I’d prefer that not to happen for safety reasons, more about that another time). We wrapped things up by suggesting a second date and said good night, and he comes in for a kiss…I turn my cheek for a kiss there, it was obvious that he was surprised by this. It was a blistering night, so I drove him to his car, which was a few blocks away, at which time he kissed me for real, after I tried to turn again. Is the first date too soon to exchange salvia? I think it is if you are looking for something more than a fling/one night stand. Exchanging salvia is intimate. Even Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman didn’t kiss on the lips. Kissing is important, it is a precursor for more to come as well as letting me know if I’d want to date this man again based on how well he can kiss me. So while first kisses are important in many ways, you don’t want to rush it either. So it remains, to kiss or not to kiss on the first date - that is the question.

First Date Decisions

I was asked on a first date - but yet, somehow I was also asked to pick the time and place we met. Now, I might be a little old fashioned here, but if someone is going to ask me out – they should also have a plan. Indirectly let me know you put time and thought into our date. I stressed out a little, asking for recommendations and finally decided on a place. It all worked out and the date went smoothly. He asked to see me again, I agreed, as I usually do to a second date provided there wasn’t reason enough to say no way. During the conversation he again asked me to determine what I would like to do. A moment of hesitation passed, and I said, honestly, you already have one strike because I had to decide on the first date, I will not make the next decision. He was a little taken aback and confirmed my friend’s assumption that he only wanted to make me happy and comfortable by doing what I want. My thought is that one the guy is lazy, two he doesn’t care, or three he isn’t really too interested in courting me. Did I just say courting? Anyway, the point is, the man should be doing this initial work. I will be more than happy to veto a decision if I am uncomfortable but for the most part, I am just along for the ride to determine a good fit. Perhaps next time I should just ignore any date that asks me to make the plans.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

cell phones and video games leading to degradation of society

I am fortunate to be of the generation that had a childhood without cell phones and without the extended need for video games. My childhood was happy; I found great, fun ways to entertain myself. We invented games, played outside, rode our bikes or hippity hops, etc. Sometimes we did play with Atari or Nintendo, but we only had a few games but it wasn’t excessive, other things caught our interest, especially on a sunny day. Growing into my preteen/teenage years we called our friends house phones and if we were lucky, we got our own phone line (I didn’t) and it was great that our cord was so long so we can sit outside and talk or on the stairs…and when cordless phones came around, that was even better! Still in this time – I had a great happy adolescence, when I saw and talked to my friends we were consumed in the moment, less distractions and more of what it was all about, friendship.

Fast forward to 19 years old, when I got my first cell phone, I hardly used it, for emergency use only because I commuted into the city. Even when cell phones were becoming more popular, I didn’t see the need to upgrade; my simple phone served its purpose. Now, three phones later I text and take occasional pictures on my cell phone…it is my primary phone, I no longer have a house phone. It still serves its purpose and I am a fan, however I think the people have become ruder during this time and I blame the cell phone companies and video game companies. I can no longer enjoy my commute into the city on the train, there is always more than one person chatting away on their phone. The streets are filled with people not paying attention to where they are walking because they are texting, and don’t get me started on drivers and customers in restaurants and banks.

The attention span of children and adults is dwindling and it is sad. I vote to turn back the hands of time to a less complicated and user friendly era where courtesy and politeness are not a thing of the past.

Thursday, December 3, 2009


There are two of us blogging on here. We both turned 30 this year...and have been friends for, oh my, 12 years. One of us is single, the other is married, but many of our thoughts on life are quite similar and others drastically different so we thought it would be fun to do this together.

We hope you enjoy :)